The Lost Soul

I see you pass by me on the street, letting our eyes briefly meet.

Seeing your hands locked with someone,

You think my heart sank?

Bet you have no idea that my life is like a blank.

You cracked a joke, distantly I beamed with a smile,

You have no idea that my heart is in denial.

You ask him how his day was and I say fine(to me),

You have no idea that my brain and I;

Are arguing about crossing the line.

My happiness is withering away as I walk in this world;

The thoughts in my head have me wishing I was lying in a cold dark hole.

Once you lose your soul there is no turning back,

Everything that I once dreamt of, no longer has an impact.

I don’t want to love nor want to have fun,

My days are so long- The problems in my mind make me question,

“Should I carry on?”

I put on the mask of a smile so that’s what people see on my face,

They think that I’m happy, but deep down inside-

I feel like a worthless disgrace.

The performance I put on for people everyday is Academy winning,

But I question myself and wonder-

If my act is just a way to hold off my own internal sinnings.

Waking up after each night’s slumber,

I think if today is the day my heart will revert back to it’s old self

Or will it still be devoid of any wonder.

I think if things that once made me happy to be alive-

Will make a comeback like a friendly hi-five.

I think if the little things in life that made you who you are,

Will have me once again dreaming to the stars.

I’m tired of running and losing breaths,

Yearning to hold tight onto something that will help me once again,

To enjoy the journey into life’s amazing treks.

I strive that every day can be better than the last,

I want to bury deep my lost soul, way back behind in the past.

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